I Can't Believe You Said That
“Not bad, for a girl”. If I hear those words again, I think my head will explode.
Let me back up and start from the beginning.
Back in 1985, I was in high school (yes, I am that old). I was a drummer in the school band. It was ground breaking to be a girl drummer.
I started playing when I was 7 and was trained as a jazz drummer. That is the hardest genre of music for a drummer to play. I spent 10 years going to lessons and practicing. By the time I was a senior, I was President of the school band and “The” drummer in the school Jazz Band. I had received all the accolades that my high school could give.
After graduation, I spent a bit of time auditioning to be in rock bands. I was starting college and why not continue doing something that I was good at.
The auditions would happen in the worst part of town, in a sketchy building that no one in their right mind would walk into. Thank god I took those self defense classes.
I’d walk into a grungy practice room, with a weird smell, and a bunch of guys thinking they were the next Bonjovi. Big hair and all.
After the “Hello, what’s your name” I would sit behind the drums and play songs with the band. Things would go well, the band sounded tight and the songs had a groove. Once we were finished the band leader would say “Not bad, for a girl”. “We’ll give you a call once we decide”.
I’d get a call only to find out that they had decided on another dude. A couple of them asked if I would be willing to practice with them when their regular drummer couldn’t make it.
After all the hard work and time spent the best I could hope for is that they’d let me practice with them when their drummer wasn’t going to show up.
After 6 month of this I gave up. Do I regret it. No, I don’t.
Now when I hear those words, I have to take some deep breaths and try not to get angry. If they only knew what they had said.