I Can't Believe You Said That

I Can't Believe You Said That

“Not bad, for a girl”. If I hear those words again, I think my head will explode.

Let me back up and start from the beginning.

Back in 1985, I was in high school (yes, I am that old). I was a drummer in the school band. It was ground breaking to be a girl drummer.

I started playing when I was 7 and was trained as a jazz drummer. That is the hardest genre of music for a drummer to play. I spent 10 years going to lessons and practicing. By the time I was a senior, I was President of the school band and “The” drummer in the school Jazz Band. I had received all the accolades that my high school could give.

After graduation, I spent a bit of time auditioning to be in rock bands. I was starting college and why not continue doing something that I was good at.

The auditions would happen in the worst part of town, in a sketchy building that no one in their right mind would walk into. Thank god I took those self defense classes.

I’d walk into a grungy practice room, with a weird smell, and a bunch of guys thinking they were the next Bonjovi. Big hair and all.

After the “Hello, what’s your name” I would sit behind the drums and play songs with the band. Things would go well, the band sounded tight and the songs had a groove. Once we were finished the band leader would say “Not bad, for a girl”. “We’ll give you a call once we decide”.

I’d get a call only to find out that they had decided on another dude. A couple of them asked if I would be willing to practice with them when their regular drummer couldn’t make it.

After all the hard work and time spent the best I could hope for is that they’d let me practice with them when their drummer wasn’t going to show up.

After 6 month of this I gave up. Do I regret it. No, I don’t.

Now when I hear those words, I have to take some deep breaths and try not to get angry. If they only knew what they had said.

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